Linda Cassidy

Linda Cassidy

It's All In My Head

The causes of suffering are not seeing things as they are, the sense of “I”, attachment, aversion, and clinging to life. (YS 2.3, trs. by Hartfrant 22)

Yes, ego plays an important role in human life.

Especially during our early years, the ego helps us accomplish things, build functional personas and establish ourselves in the world. But egoic inner narration can be an obstacle in yoga practice, which isn’t about accomplishment, persona and gain.

Egoic aversion often causes me to avoid poses I find difficult or those I fear. The inner chatter takes the form of the Great Discourager: I’m never going to get into this pose, it’s too hard for me, I’m too old, I’ll look stupid trying, I’ll get hurt, etc. So I end up missing the benefits of learning a new form and attempting something challenging because my egoic, aversion-driven mind doesn’t want to deal with the possibility of failure and the discomfort of fear.

Attachment becomes more problematic during poses I find comfortable. I’ll be so happy to get to a pose I love, like Upavistha Konasana, that I check out. In those cases, the internal babble goes along these lines: I love this pose, it’s so easy, I’m good at it, I can take a break for a moment. Let’s think about me, my problems and my stories. And then I miss the subtleties and beauties of a fundamental pose because I’m not paying attention.

In both cases, positive or negative, my egoic monologue emphasizes the sense of “I.”  I like the pose or I don’t; I fear it or I love it. Either way, I remain shackled to thought forms in my head rather than allowing my complete attention to rise to the present, where my body is dancing with the forms of the asana. 

So how does one work with this necessary but limited aspect of mind, asmita, I-Am-ness?

It’s helpful to see it for what it is. Freud, the first to use the term in its modern form, explains ego as a tool for navigating reality.  Vedic scholar PR Tigunait puts it nicely: The ego’s job is simply to facilitate the exchange between the internal and external world. This comes at a formidable price, though, because in order to do this, the ego splits our experience into two parts: Me and Everything Else. This distinction, though useful for practical reasons, is not the entire or even predominant story of our existence.

One of the primary truths we get glimpses of through our yoga practice is the wholeness of our being, the seamless essence of our nature: we are not separate from the world and are not bounded by this skin.

By practicing svadhyaya, self-study, the internal egoic monologue can be brought down a few notches and the volume dimmed. Then the larger mind can unite more freely with the subtle body to open the doors to a far richer source of information and life.

And that’s where the magic lies.

Sequence for Quieting Egoic Thought-Stream:

1. Uddiyana Bandha (Standing; shortstop pose) 3x; exhale retentions

2. Straight-leg reverse Vira to Vira 2

3. Urdva Hastasana to semi-dropback (dristi at fingers)

4.Pincha Mayurasana (for me: strap and block, at wall)

5. Vajrasana

6. Balasana, forehead on block

7. AMS/ head on block

8. Upavistha Konasana, twists first, then forward fold/head on block

9. Sarvangasana with blankets, sacrum block for lifting up

10. Halasana; roll right into

11. Supported Setu Bhanda Sarvangasana, sacrum on block

12. Supta Virasana w/ sandbag across upper thighs (for me: low blocks at shoulder blades and back of head)

13. Tadagi Mudra 

14. Savasana/ sandbags on thighs, eye pillow or sandbag on forehead

15. Seated meditation w/Jalandara Bandha, 3 minutes