.Spilling My Guts by Deborah O'Brian
Manorma D’Alva - one of our resident Yoga Shanti Sanskrit instructors - compares this delicate language with dating and the art of flirtation. She talks about the come hither look but the benefit of not giving away too much too soon. she went around the room one afternoon in Teacher Training and had us each take turns singing the sanskrit vowels. So I “sang” it in my singer's voice and she said “you have a beautiful voice, but save a little prana for yourself”...
Save prana for myself??? Nonsense, you have to “give it your all” “put in 110%”!!! Right????
In my practice and in my life I find I’m “spilling my guts” when I’m not careful. It had become my habit to give everything away about myself to anyone who was willing to listen in the hopes someone might be impressed. This concept also applied to my yoga practice but to backbending in particular. Each backbend was deeper than the next, the ribs and hips points cracked apart like an eggshell to reveal all of my insides spilling out.
After relocating back to South Florida I’ve gone back to work at a trendy, popular and high paced restaurant I called home for 5 years prior to living in NY. With a buffet of new handsome, single co-workers at my fingertips, the art of flirtation and saving a little prana for myself has become of great importance to me. I can see this container breach in my co-workers. Their physical posture changes as a hot tamale passes, they burst at the seams and their contents run out in the name of flirtation. Where is the wink and the nod, the coy glance? Cracking open and spilling my guts now feels similar to jamming my sacrum forward. It’s not flirting, it forcing. Sanskrit is flowing and poetic yet we force ourselves into shapes in the name of yoga same as we do with love and life.
The rush of achieving something, of being “that girl” who can poke herself in the eye with her toe creeping up from behind her head, felt like being the pretty girl everyone wants to talk to. I was willing to sacrifice me and give all my prana away to do a circus trick for attention. I was willing to give everything away about myself hoping to convince anyone listening that I was confident, secure and worth loving.
Sometimes I still break open and lose a little too much, but I am starting to get a glimpse of the vast capacity of my container ;)
Today we will focus on “who am I?” You are valuable, you deserve to be loved and you don’t have to spill your guts to prove it.
Rod/Col Gems to weave into class:
“What if you changed your concept of who you think you are, so that your container became as vast as the universe?”
“You don't become integrated. You give up your illusion that you're not integrated already.”
“I am not the pain/limitation in my (insert part of you here)”
“Prana rides the chariot of the breath”
“Leave a gateway for an inquiry” Ujayi Breath exploration to start. Make reference to this gateway in regard to the kidneys, sacrum, skull/neck- dome of the soft palate continues to lift with the seed of the exhale.
Sequence leading to Pincha Mayurasana:
- Virasana - Kapalabati breath
- Supported Fish Pose with blocks under the shoulder blades and T spine softening in between the blocks - base of the skull pressing lightly down to leave space for the “3rd eye”
- DD with head hanging easy, say no and yes
- Tadasana- 2 Sunsalute B’s bent elbows in uttkatasana hands touching shoulder blades head released to broaden kidneys
- DD on forearms - plank on forearms 5 times - head easy gaze down the nose
- 10 dynamic squats from standing - butt poked out
- Triangle both sides
- Sphinx pose with cat cow initiated with the pushing and pulling of the forearms
- Baradvadrasana twist - swing into pigeon - no forward bend stay high on finger tips and cat cow here back toes press strongly -Virasana - repeat other side
- Vira 1 with block between hands - Vira 3 with block bend elbows to place block behind head, press base of skull to block and look forward, gaze down the nose - repeat other side
- Pincha with block btw both forefinger and thumb - work on finding cat cow when inverted
- Constructive rest with block btw thighs and strap around them, hug arms across chest, press base of the skull toward the floor
- Sivasana
- Supported Fish Pose with blocks under the shoulder blades and T spine softening in between the blocks - base of the skull pressing lightly down to leave space for the “3rd eye”
- DD with head hanging easy, say no and yes
- Tadasana- 2 Sunsalute B’s bent elbows in uttkatasana hands touching shoulder blades head released to broaden kidneys
- DD on forearms - plank on forearms 5 times - head easy gaze down the nose
- 10 dynamic squats from standing - butt poked out
- Triangle both sides
- Sphinx pose with cat cow initiated with the pushing and pulling of the forearms
- Baradvadrasana twist - swing into pigeon - no forward bend stay high on finger tips and cat cow here back toes press strongly -Virasana - repeat other side
- Vira 1 with block between hands - Vira 3 with block bend elbows to place block behind head, press base of skull to block and look forward, gaze down the nose - repeat other side
- Pincha with block btw both forefinger and thumb - work on finding cat cow when inverted
- Constructive rest with block btw thighs and strap around them, hug arms across chest, press base of the skull toward the floor
- Sivasana
Deborah O'Brien's Sequence leading to Pincha Mayurasana:
ReplyDelete- Virasana - Kapalabati breath
- Supported Fish Pose with blocks under the shoulder blades and T spine softening in between the blocks - base of the skull pressing lightly down to leave space for the “3rd eye”
- DD with head hanging easy, say no and yes
- Tadasana- 2 Sunsalute B’s bent elbows in uttkatasana hands touching shoulder blades head released to broaden kidneys
- DD on forearms - plank on forearms 5 times - head easy gaze down the nose
- 10 dynamic squats from standing - butt poked out
- Triangle both sides
- Sphinx pose with cat cow initiated with the pushing and pulling of the forearms
- Baradvadrasana twist - swing into pigeon - no forward bend stay high on finger tips and cat cow here back toes press strongly -Virasana - repeat other side
- Vira 1 with block between hands - Vira 3 with block bend elbows to place block behind head, press base of skull to block and look forward, gaze down the nose - repeat other side
- Pincha with block btw both forefinger and thumb - work on finding cat cow when inverted
- Constructive rest with block btw thighs and strap around them, hug arms across chest, press base of the skull toward the floor
- Sivasana
Deb, I appreciate your intensity, your openness, and your honesty. The poetry of the egg shell cracking open show your mastery of communication, and willingness to be vulnerable. So glad to be in this training with you.
ReplyDeleteDeb, this is my favorite Dharma talk. I feel as though you are speaking directly to me. I will try the sequence, even though I cannot achieve the full Pincha, especially because I like the sequence. Beautiful. Thank you -- Denise
ReplyDeleteI am digging this dharma gold nugget: "You are valuable, you deserve to be loved and you don’t have to spill your guts to prove it." Appreciate the clean and clear sequence. xo
ReplyDeleteDeb - thanks for sharing. I agree ... keep some Prana for yourself! No need to give it all away. It's OK to treat it like the priceless gift that it is (and that you are)!
ReplyDeleteLoved reading your thoughts, they made me smile. What a beautiful sequence ,so detailed!
ReplyDelete"Save a little Prana for yourself"so true! thank you Manorama!
ReplyDeleteThank you Deborah for sharing!
This lovely dharma talk reminds me of something Colleen recently wrote on FB. She wrote, "There is strength in reserve. There is strength in reserve. There is strength in reserve." Thank you for sharing. Love the sequence and the idea of the container in this context.
ReplyDeleteThis is lovely and the sequence is strong!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to what you are saying. I was told by a yoga instructor that we are all whole, complete and perfect. However, our humanness does not allow us to see this very often in ourselves. There is a need, a longing to be accepted, desired, admired by others.
ReplyDeleteYes! Keep a little back for yourself- the sense of containment that Rodney's been teaching a lot about, especially this past summer - really important stuff Deb. The 10 dynamic squats, though, seem a little explosive to me - when I did your sequence I dialed that down to 3.
ReplyDeleteI am impressed ;-) !
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ReplyDeleteLove your metaphors and examples! Simple, smart, concise. Jai Ma!
ReplyDeletewonderful wonderful story and example of self awareness with sweetness and humor. not sure that it is the right sequence to access containment and not give away all your precious prana. sequence is good but seems too energetic for your intention of the class
ReplyDeleteThank you!
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