Gillian Cilibrasi
Difficult Aspect of My Practice
The Most Difficult Aspect of My Practice –
Arm Balances in the Center of the Room and the Cultivation of Equanimity
Upeksha means equanimity, non-attachment, non-discrimination, even-mindedness or letting go. It’s not indifference. Upeksha grows out of mindfulness and allows the practitioner to master a situation. To truly create an arm balance practice Upeksha or equanimity without attachment must be in the heart and mind of the practitioner.
A little history – it was the summer of 2005 and I was at the Wild Woodstock Ashram (Gannon/Life) taking a very expensive ($40) class. As such, I was NOT going to miss a single pose. David called Pincha Mayurasana in the center of the room I glanced at my friend Gretchen, shrugged my shoulders and grabbed my strap - I was going for it!
I mindfully set myself up, placed the strap above my elbows and my hands softly but firmly on the floor. I lifted one leg then the other – I WAS UP along with the other 40 people in the room…that was until I wasn’t. I blurted “Gretch, I’m going down!” and proceeded to knock her and four others down. David Life announced to the entire room “and THAT is how you do NOT do this pose.” I was devastated.
I haven’t gotten up in that pose unassisted or without a wall since. Each time it’s called in class I make my way to Dolphin as a prep or find myself in Child’s Pose. I am completely attached to not doing it wrong (as opposed to doing it correctly). I fear the turning of my body upside down, blaming the size of my hips as the reason for my flawed center of gravity in these poses and, of course, the reason that I don;t do them. I can mentalize many of the aspects of these postures and tout their value in a practice, but when it comes to shifting my perspective and cultivating a middle of the room arm balance practice, I remain a fearful spectator.
Cultivating a sense of equanimity without attachment is the key to this practice for me and this sequence focuses on that.
Note: Optimal placement should be an even column from the base of the pose through the upper arm, armpit, shoulder, torso, pelvis, and legs
Sun Salutations to warm spine, activate legs
Virasana with Gomukhasana arms Then standing with Gomukhasana arms. Accentuate alignment points and the column of the body
Shoulder opener – standing, bent elbows to ceiling, block between hands lift overhead focusing on line from elbows to hip points mind the jutting of ribs forward
Shoulder opener on chair against wall – same alignment points
Belt and Block at the wall – Dolphin Prep lifting one leg at a time
Propped PM at the wall, play looking for plumb line without dropping into shoulders
Propless at the wall
Dolphin in the center of the room. Lifting one leg at a time. Possibly PM in the center of the room
Constructive Rest/SPG
Upeksha means equanimity, non-attachment, non-discrimination, even-mindedness or letting go. It’s not indifference. Upeksha grows out of mindfulness and allows the practitioner to master a situation. To truly create an arm balance practice Upeksha or equanimity without attachment must be in the heart and mind of the practitioner.
A little history – it was the summer of 2005 and I was at the Wild Woodstock Ashram (Gannon/Life) taking a very expensive ($40) class. As such, I was NOT going to miss a single pose. David called Pincha Mayurasana in the center of the room I glanced at my friend Gretchen, shrugged my shoulders and grabbed my strap - I was going for it!
I mindfully set myself up, placed the strap above my elbows and my hands softly but firmly on the floor. I lifted one leg then the other – I WAS UP along with the other 40 people in the room…that was until I wasn’t. I blurted “Gretch, I’m going down!” and proceeded to knock her and four others down. David Life announced to the entire room “and THAT is how you do NOT do this pose.” I was devastated.
I haven’t gotten up in that pose unassisted or without a wall since. Each time it’s called in class I make my way to Dolphin as a prep or find myself in Child’s Pose. I am completely attached to not doing it wrong (as opposed to doing it correctly). I fear the turning of my body upside down, blaming the size of my hips as the reason for my flawed center of gravity in these poses and, of course, the reason that I don;t do them. I can mentalize many of the aspects of these postures and tout their value in a practice, but when it comes to shifting my perspective and cultivating a middle of the room arm balance practice, I remain a fearful spectator.
Cultivating a sense of equanimity without attachment is the key to this practice for me and this sequence focuses on that.
Note: Optimal placement should be an even column from the base of the pose through the upper arm, armpit, shoulder, torso, pelvis, and legs
Sun Salutations to warm spine, activate legs
Virasana with Gomukhasana arms Then standing with Gomukhasana arms. Accentuate alignment points and the column of the body
Shoulder opener – standing, bent elbows to ceiling, block between hands lift overhead focusing on line from elbows to hip points mind the jutting of ribs forward
Shoulder opener on chair against wall – same alignment points
Belt and Block at the wall – Dolphin Prep lifting one leg at a time
Propped PM at the wall, play looking for plumb line without dropping into shoulders
Propless at the wall
Dolphin in the center of the room. Lifting one leg at a time. Possibly PM in the center of the room
Constructive Rest/SPG
Colleen Saidman December 10, 2015 at 6:52 PM:
ReplyDeletelove the intro. not sure if sun salutations warm up or give the legs the integrity and strength needed. maybe add a fews backbends. why dolphin in middle of room after pinch?
LOVING your vulnerability Gillian! -David M.
ReplyDeleteLOVING your honesty here too! Great story. Beautiful. --Denise
ReplyDeleteoh inversions! and being called out on falling! makes me think of those childhood times of being called out on something( with me it was singing my my supposed friend)that leave such a mark and often then samskara.. way to get back on the horse…or the peacock
ReplyDeleteNice story! I can identify with that!
ReplyDeleteThanks Gillian. Love your candor. Love learning from you.
ReplyDeleteI love your initial fearlessness in your approach to arm balances and I am certain that you can cultivate it once more :)
ReplyDelete"I am completely attached to not doing it wrong (as opposed to doing it correctly)." -- You will have me thinking about this concept for some time. Thank you for sharing. For being vulnerable and funny and honest and brave!
ReplyDeleteYour story is great example that we can probably all relate to - thanks so much for sharing it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the honesty and would to see a couple of standing poses in there.
ReplyDeleteI really like this line "Cultivating a sense of equanimity without attachment is the key..." Your talk totally speaks to me. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteYou carry yourself as if you are invinceble so it's hard to believe anything scares you. For me personally I need more standing poses to feel stable upside down. Maybe that would help make you more secure here. Xo
ReplyDelete